Proud Daughter or I think SO!
Tonight I had a conversation with my dad that I never thought I would have 5 years ago. He called to tell me it was his two year anniversary from giving up drinking. I want to cry, hug and thank him all at the same time. My son said PAPA I am proud of you. Now I know that he is only 2 1/2 and he doesn't know how much that meant to me. To hear my son say he was proud of my dad because this was something I wanted from my dad for so long. Just for him to say I am proud of you.
One thing that I learned from my childhood is that my child would never feel not good enough. I would always make sure that they knew I was proud of them no matter what. That they can do anything or be anyone. I want them to think they can accomplish anything in the world as long as they have my support.You see growing up my only memories of my dad are him drinking. Unfortunately most of these include him not coming to softball games, cheerleading games, track meets or FFA competitions. I think back at how much he missed out on. I can't say that I have one good memory of my school years that he was there to share with me. I moved out of my parent's house at 17 and moved in with my brother because lets face it home life wasn't great. I still finished high school and got a college degree without his support. Every time I built myself up he tore me down. I know now this wasn't my dad talking but it doesn't mean that it didn't hurt . That acholism is a disease and it almost took his life.
So today to hear him say he is celebrating his 2 year anniversary is bitter sweet. He is such a good PAPA to my son and I am thankful for this but I am still this little girl that missed out. It has taken me a long time to come around and except things for what they are and let the past be the past. I am a better person for this and a better mother. I live in this moment right now being happy for my dad.
Congrat's dad I am proud of you!
One thing that I learned from my childhood is that my child would never feel not good enough. I would always make sure that they knew I was proud of them no matter what. That they can do anything or be anyone. I want them to think they can accomplish anything in the world as long as they have my support.You see growing up my only memories of my dad are him drinking. Unfortunately most of these include him not coming to softball games, cheerleading games, track meets or FFA competitions. I think back at how much he missed out on. I can't say that I have one good memory of my school years that he was there to share with me. I moved out of my parent's house at 17 and moved in with my brother because lets face it home life wasn't great. I still finished high school and got a college degree without his support. Every time I built myself up he tore me down. I know now this wasn't my dad talking but it doesn't mean that it didn't hurt . That acholism is a disease and it almost took his life.
So today to hear him say he is celebrating his 2 year anniversary is bitter sweet. He is such a good PAPA to my son and I am thankful for this but I am still this little girl that missed out. It has taken me a long time to come around and except things for what they are and let the past be the past. I am a better person for this and a better mother. I live in this moment right now being happy for my dad.
Congrat's dad I am proud of you!
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This is great christina! As you may know, I don't have a relationship with my father right now, but this post gives me hope that maybe I can find it in myself to "let the past be the past" as well. Congrats to YOU and your Dad! :0)
Ashley I really had no hope left for my father 2 years ago. I had not spoken to him much since my wedding 5 years ago. I can tell you today that I have to take it one day at a time but it is so worth it. At the same time so hurtful that he missed out. I do not know your situation but forgivness comes in its own time. I was not ready a year ago to forgive but today I am ok with it. Amazing the things we learn from our childhood to do or not do to our own children. There is hope for my dad now.