My So Called Life

Thanks to my friend Tina I am in love with online shopping at http://www.alice.com/. Yes I still shop at walmart but if I don't have time or just need a few things I will order online for free shipping. If you have more than one child then you know that taking two children under the age of 3 into walmart is not fun alone this time of year. I am also still breastfeeding so timing is everything when it comes to being out in public. So tomorrow my laundry detergent, tooth paste, straws for Logan and a few other things will be delivered to my door step. I love that they match up coupons with your items and that you can shop the best deals or brand name. I think the site is very user friendly. I love that they ship UPS with a tracking number.

Thanks,
Christina

I just haven't had time to write but I have been reading your blogs promise. Things at work have been super busy and stressful. My evenings have been filled with preparation for Christmas and the next day. Lucas is still getting up 2-3 times a night so I am very exhausted by the end of the week. This morning I looked in the laundry room and thought how did that happen. I spent Sunday doing 12 loads of laundry and there is another 4 waiting for now. We have many Christmas gatherings planned and I hope the boys do well. Probably wont have time to write until after the holidays.

Wishing you and your Family a very Merry Christmas!

To say that life has been hectic is an understatement. I am not sure if it is the return to work that has caused mass craziness or that it is just the holidays. The shopping, cooking, running errands, decorating and so on...... I just feel like I can't catch my breath lately. I leave the house before 7 AM and do not get home until around 6 pm. After I get home there is a list of things that has to be done before the boys baths and bedtime. I am so fortunate to have a husband that helps with the children. I really don't know how I would do it without him. Since I am breastfeeding it adds some much more to my evening to do list. It takes about an hour to freeze milk, wash parts, sterilize everything and get things together for the next day. I have been feeling guilty about not cooking dinner every night. Yes I know as long as my family eats it is not the end of the world. The laundry has doubled for the winter months because my husband dresses in layers for the cold weather. I have been doing about 12 loads a week of laundry now this does include towels, sheets and clothing. My house is ummmmm neglected until the weekend most of the time. If you know me that is so not like me but spending time as a family is more important than mopping.

I have to admit that things are smoother getting the boys ready in the morning now. We have a routine and it works for us. I have only been late to work once in 5 weeks! I never want my boys to feel as though mommy doesn't have time for them. I make it a point to sit down with Logan and read to him at night. If this means that the dishes don't get done until morning I am ok with it. Lucas has been getting up 2-3 times a night. I am exhausted by the end of the week. I never imagined that I could function off of 4 hours of sleep a night. I wouldn't be telling the truth if I told you that I didn't need my sleep.

Today I am cleaning up the mess that was created this week and baking for our office Christmas party. Logan went to work with daddy and Lucas has been napping this afternoon. I probably should be folding laundry but we all deserve a little blog time every now and then.

Jason and I have talked a lot about if this will be our last baby. Yes I know we don't need to decide right now but it is something we do need to plan for one way or another. I know that when I was pregnant with Lucas I just could not tie my tubes. I just had this feeling that it was not the right time or place in my life. I have all these unanswered questions as to why or why not running around in my head. How does one really know when it is time to close that door? I keep praying about it and looking for direction. There are days were two kids are more than I can handle but then there are days I just can't wait to be pregnant again. I feel truly blessed to have two healthy boys. I just can't get the what ifs out of my head. I have always dreamed of a mother daughter relationship. I just want to know if it will ever feel right to close that chapter. I have totes of maternity clothes that I can not seem to part with yet. I have a tote of 0-3 month baby clothes that I need to take the resale shop but just can't bring myself to get rid of the memories. Both boys have worn these clothes as infants and they have special meaning to me. Why is it so hard for me to see them grow??



Any advise or words or wisdom? I could really use some right now.

I have started posting deals on my blog. I do not want it to become only a site for deals but if I feel you will benefit from the post then I will blog about it. I plan to finish a couple blogs that I have started maybe this weekend but no promises.

So let me know how you like the new post!

Thanks,
Christina

Play Dough

What kid doesn’t like play dough? Give them a batch with a knife, rolling pin, and a few cut outs, and they love it! Try your hand at making your own. It is safe for your family and easy! Make your own play dough with a few basic ingredients that you probably already have on hand: salt, flour, oil, cream of tarter and various food colorings. For this easy recipe, visit here. Make all different colors and store in little baby food jars to keep it fresh and soft. Or try yummy edible play dough made out of almond butter.

Thanks,
Christina

I just order 2 games for $6.20 for Logan! If you know a child with a leapster then this is a great deal. I know the ages are older but he likes Dora and Batman.


Batman and Dora Leapster Games Free
.LeapFrog has a couple of their Leapster Games: Dora the Explorer Wildlife Rescue for $5 and Batman for $5. Then use the coupon code: leapstr5 to receive these items for free.Shipping is $5.95. These normally sell for $29.99- $24.99 each.

Thanks,
Christina

I am one of those mom's that enjoy nursing my baby. It was the best experience the first time around and even better the second. Although there is a down side to going back to work because I am having to pump 2-3 times a day. I do not enjoy pumping nor is it anything like nursing your baby. I nursed Logan until he was 6 months old and my milk supply could not keep up. I cried when I stopped nursing him because I knew I would miss it. I am not sure if it was losing that special time or if it was not being able to provided for him anymore but it was not a easy time for me.

I am proud of myself for making it through week number 4 back at work and still pumping. I think it is a huge accomplishment for me and I am not ashamed to say it is hard work. I can't explain the feeling I get when I am able to provide for my baby. It is so rewarding as a mother for me to be able to have this special time with my baby. I do not mind waking up in the middle of the night to get one on one time with him. I love the look on his face when he is done nursing. Some people ask me why I don't stop because I came back to work. I feel just because I am at work doesn't mean I am not a mother of a 12 weeks old baby. He still needs me to produce his milk and provide for him.


So yes it is worth the time, washing pump part every night, sterilizing, freezing milk and no time for me. Every extra minute that it takes is so worth it to me!



To be continued.......

Sometimes I really think that I need to appreciate the little things in life. I need to stop and take everything in. I am very blessed to have a loving husband, two healthy children and a job. I need to focus on the positive things and not think about the negatives. It is so easy to get sucked into the negatives and let them eat away at you. I often think that we are our toughest critics and sometimes it is ok not to be good at something. I hope that I can teach my children to appreciate the little things in life.

Today I appreciated a long hot shower with no interruptions. I am thankful for medicine to heal my sons chest congestion and allow him to breathe easy. I am blessed with a husband that will offer to take my oldest child to work with him so that I can catch up on sleep. Even though I know that he spent half his time playing and not getting much work done. I am truly lucky to have best friends that are there no matter what happens in life.

I survived the first two weeks back at work. Although it was not easy because Lucas came down with a chest cold that turned into an ear infection and wheezing. He is on breathing treatments but his ear seems to be bothering him. I was up every 1-2 hours with him last night. It is the worst feeling in the world when you can't take the pain away. I think Logan may be coming down with the same thing so I have started him on medicine and I am sure he will be on breathing treatments before the end of the weekend. I am going to go cuddle with my babies and try to make them feel better.

100 Free custom Holiday Photo Cards from SeeHere: Have you gotten yours yet?

Guess what arrived via FedEx yesterday? all 100 of them, including envelopes.
Guess how much I paid for them? $0.00
Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Not even a penny for shipping.
Y'all need to go jump on this deal, if you haven't already, as it's only good through November 30, 2009. If you're not planning to send out Christmas cards this year, you could use these as gift tags. Or use the codes to create birth announcements. Or come up with another creative idea for these totally free photo cards!
Here's how to get 100 custom photo cards with envelopes for free:
::Just go here to set up an account with SeeHere (or login if you already have an account) and then upload and create your photo card. Mine took me about 30 minutes to put together--but that's because I had to wade through photos and figure out which ones to use!::After you've set up your photo card, be sure to save it. Then put 50 photo cards in your cart and go to the checkout and use coupon code newbaby and you'll get all 50 free with free shipping.::Log back in and click on your saved items and order another 50 photo cards this time using the coupon code from Freebies4Mom here. Again, you should get 50 more free photo cards with free shipping.
And that's it! Mine arrived within 3 business days of ordering via FedEx. I was thoroughly impressed, to say the least!
Need some custom address labels to go with the photo cards? Order 140 here for only $3 shipped.

This is an awesome deal I just had to share. I am not sure if you like to hear about good deals or not. I am the queen of reading other blogs and finding good deals. I ordered one because for $8.95 shipping I just could not pass it up. I plan to nurse as long as I can but did not want to pay $40.00 for a cover. I will let you know when it comes in!

Udder Covers: FREE just pay $7.95 shipping
I posted this in the past but Heather reminded me of this and I thought it would be a great reminder -- especially for those of you who need a gift for a mom-to-be.Udder covers are breastfeeding covers that normally sell for $32.00. If you put the promo code Thankyou you can get one for free --you just pay shipping $7.95.Go to uddercovers.com, click on "Shop Now," select the product you would like (they also have 3 piece gift sets available with this promotion) and you will automatically be directed to the center of the page where you can enter in the promo code!This promotion gives you a $32.00 discount off your total order no matter what you put in your cart! This promotion code is valid once per transaction, so you can order as many times as you would like!

I honestly have not time to blog lately! I have been reading blogs and keep up with everyone. but other than that no time. Lucas has been congested and has a sore throat. I took him to the doctor just to be sure there was no other respiratory things going on. Since it is only $15.00 for my child to be seen I will take him just in case. I think I might be coming down with what he has or it is just exhaustion from only getting 2 hours of sleep the last couple nights. It scares me when one of my children are congested and can't breathe well. I would rather sit in the recliner and get no sleep to make sure they are OK. Well we will see if I can get back to work tomorrow. WISH ME LUCK!

I am still struggling with finding a schedule that works for us but it has only been a little over a week. I am sure things will get better soon.

This week has been stressful for me. I am thankful tomorrow is Friday and then I will be at home with the boys for the weekend. I have missed them so much this week. I have cried on the drive to work every morning. I have even thought about calling in sick. Logan is going deer hunting with daddy this weekend so it will just be me and Lucas. I plan to blog about going back to work and all that has happened. I hope that everyone is having a good week!

It is time for me to go back to work tomorrow. (TEARS) I have spent the weekend preparing for daycare and work. I have made list after list to help me gather my thoughts and things. I have left a post-it note on the door with a list of items I need to gather in the morning because I was afraid I might forget the breastmilk. I know my morning is going to be busy enough without forgetting my babies milk. I hope I can hold it together long enough to not upset Logan when I drop the boys off at daycare.

We spent the day playing and spending time as a family. This afternoon we had family pictures taken and it was a blast. The boys were really good for the photographer and she is great with kids. I can't wait to get them back and order Christmas presents for the grandparents!

I am off to feed Lucas and try to get him to bed early. I hope he sleeps well tonight because I know I will not sleep well knowing I am returning to work. I will post an update soon on my return to work!

I just received my first order from www.alice.com thanks to Tina I am sold on ordering from them. The items were just as described and everything was packaged nicely. Not only did I not have to go to the store to shop but the site found coupons for me.

Items purchased:
2 Jumbo packages of Luvs Diapers
2 rolls Paper Towels
2 boxes Zip Lock Bags
1 Crest Tooth Paste

Coupons $2.75 savings

Total: $21.38 Free Shipping

The diapers were a great deal $5.78 for a jumbo pack of Luvs. I didn't have to get dressed or get the boys ready to go to Rolla. I purchased just the items I needed nothing more. The items are shipped UPS. After the order has shipped they send an email with your tracking number. I am interested to see how well this site will work for me. Anything to help my monthly budget and avoid walmart with an infant and a 3 year old.

Logan is officially out of pull ups! YAY....... I decided after wasting 2 packs of pull ups and no accidents over the last 2 months we would not buy anymore. I bought a plastic mattress cover just in case but no accidents yet. It has been almost 2 1/2 weeks in big boy underwear for bedtime. I believe this is a huge accomplishment for Logan. He is only 3 1/2 and we have not had a accident over night in month's. I can't remember the last time he wet his pull up. He even gets up at night to use the bathroom. I will hear the toilet flush at like 3 am and he goes right back to bed.

I was worried about him having regression with the baby but I think it has been the opposite. He wants to be the big boy in our home. He corrects anyone that calls him a baby now. I think my little sweet baby boy is growing up!

Are you getting your kids vaccinate for H1N1?

Have you got the vaccine?

Do you plan to get the vaccine?


So many opinions so little research! I did get the vaccine yesterday from the OB office. I got it beacuse I work on campus and I would hate to bring something home to my children. I didn't have any side effects and I am fine. I now have to decide with Lucas at home whether or not to vaccinate Logan. First the doctors say no and now they say yes.

Let me know your thoughts!

Life as a family of Four has taken some adjusting but it has all been worth it. Before Lucas was born I feared having enough love, time or patience for two children. I have had many people tell me that you will be fine but the unknown is always scary. I worried about myself, Logan and Jason adjusting. I worried about how I would parent two children. I feared the delivery because Logan's delivery was a horrible experience for me. All of the unknowns kept me awake some nights to tell you the truth. Preparing for the second child is a different experience then the first in my opinion. I would like to think I am more practical this time around. I think that after having the first baby you realize what is a necessity and what is a want.


The first couple of weeks home was really rough. Logan struggled sharing time with mommy and daddy. He did not understand why Lucas could not play. Jason and I tried to involve Logan in feedings and changing the baby. We wanted him to feel like a big brother. I have to admit there were times that I would sit and cry because Logan just didn't understand. Breastfeeding Lucas brought an entire different challenge to balancing my time with the boys. I feel like Logan did not get the attention he needed from me until at least 4 weeks after Lucas was born.


Leaving the house with the boys is very challenging. I feel like by the time I get everyone dressed, feed and changed I am exhausted. I takes me at least 30-45 mintues to prepare for an outgoing with them. It is amazing how easy it was to pick up and go before. I was spoiled with no diaper bag and car seat to tote around. I was down to a change of clothes, snacks and drink. I will say it has been a huge change for me.


Jason and I have not had much time together lately. I feel like we see each other in passing. We are in much need of a date night but I am not sure I am ready to leave Lucas yet. He has taken a bottle several times from Logan, Jason and I. It is just the thought that I would not enjoy being gone from him.


I have enjoyed my time at home. I enjoy taking care the boys all day long. It is nice to have dinner on the table when Jason gets home from work. The house is clean and the laundry is done daily. It is amazing how great it feels to be able to keep up with things. Only thing is that this scares me because when I returned to work what will it be like. I am in need of a schedule that will help me stay organized upon my return to work. I am going to try hard to meal plan and stick to it. The boys will have bathes at night and I will shower in the morning. I still have lots of details to work out but those are a couple thoughts for now.

I have several post in the works but I am unsure when I will finish them. I was sad to see that two of the blogs I read will not be posting as often. Sometimes I feel as though I am a circle of mothers that support me in blog world.

This February will be 3 years since my nephew passed away. I have spent a lot of time mad, sad, confused and just unsure. I have questioned GOD a lot through this process. I wanted to know WHY? and that is an answer that I am not sure I will ever get. I often find myself thinking what his personality would be like or what he might look like. I have felt guilt for many reasons. I have never quit found the words to say to my brother for his lose.

After he passed away I would check on Logan several times a night. I couldn't shake the thought of something happening to my child. I just couldn't imagine life without him. It took a year before I would sleep through the night again. I found myself being very protective of him. I wanted to believe that if I never let him leave my side I could protect him. So when someone calls me over protective I want to say you try losing your 3 month old nephew. I know you are thinking harsh but there really isn't any other way to explain it.

I again find myself waking up several times a night to make sure Lucas is breathing. I am not sure that I will be able to shake this feeling. I have been praying about things lately and I hope that I can find peace with this.

Where has my sweet little well behaved boy gone. Ever since we brought Lucas home from the hospital Logan has become a different child. He talks back, hits, spits, cries and wants held all the time. Not that all that happens in one day but it makes for a long week. I would like to think that we had a handle on his behavior before Lucas was born but now I just don't know what to do. It has only been 4 weeks but it has been a very stressful 4 weeks. I feel like Logan has forgot how to communicate his feeling. I have sat and cried to my husband because I am unsure what to do. I have been using timeouts but it doesn't seem to be working. When he gets up the behavior is all over again. This week he has started to lash out at the baby. At what point is it no longer just an adjustment stage. I have been reading online, watching suppernanny and I am open to any suggestions........

I just wanted to tell everyone that I enjoy reading your blogs. I love to read about other mothers opinions and other peoples thoughts. I enjoy seeing your pictures and reading your stories. I know I have not been writing much lately but I hope to return to the blog world soon.

Until next time.........

Christina

A friend posted this and I thought I would also

On one side............

• I do not give my children dairy, hotdogs, peanut butter, eggs or seafood before they are a year old. I feel strong about this is my choice as a parent and if you don't like it they are not your children.
  
• Immunizations - we do them by the book. Whatever the pediatrician recommends, that is the way we go.
  
• Diet - I breastfeed Logan until he was 6 months old and then started him on formula until a year. I start cereal at four months, 1st foods when they are "supported sitters", second foods after six months, third foods and finger foods at nine. The pediatrician starts them on whole milk until they are two. I water down juice because I feel it is to sweet for them.
  
• Medicines - I make sure I read the label and then call Shelly our nurse if I am unsure. I never give more than the recommendation. I make sure they don't take it more than the allotted time.
  
• I encourage Logan to have milk before I offer anything else. I will allow him to have juice or water to drink if he has drank at least 2 cups of milk.
  
• Snack - I buy gram crackers, fruit snacks, grapes, oranges, animal crackers, yogurts and so on. I try to keep a variety of things in the house that are a quick snack. I always take snacks with us everywhere we go.
  
• Just recently I have allowed Logan to chew gum. He has learned not to swallow it and to put it in the trash when he is finished. (Sugar Free Gum of Course)
  
• No nuts until you are three.
  
• I let Logan drink Sprite when we do let him have soda. Jason is soft and will buy him a bug juice every now and then. (I am not a fan of bug juice but it is a nice treat for him)
  
• I do not let my children sleep on there stomachs until they can roll over.
  
• I rock them to sleep - I do not let them "cry it out"
  
• I will let Logan crawl into bed with us late at night but I don't let him go to bed in our bed. Lucas is sleeping in our room for now until he gets bigger.
  
• I start potty training as soon as they understand or start showing signs. I do not push them to go or spank them for not going on the potty.
  
• I taught Logan to pee sitting down. He was to short to reach the toilets and he did not have good control.
  
• I have let my child have cake for breakfast or ice cream for dinner on rare occasion. I am not perfect.
  
• Bedtime- I have always encourage Logan to be in bed by 9:00 pm. Although since Lucas has came home this is not the case. I hope to return to some kind of structure soon.
  
• I let my children watch cartoons and movies. Although Logan is not interested in TV that much.

Today was one of those days that I felt defeated before I got out of bed. I was up most of the night with the baby and I was exhausted before the day even started. I had a 3 1/2 yr old feet in my back at 5 AM. I wanted to lay in bed holding my children and cry. I know this doesn't sound normal but that is what I needed to do. I felt overwhelmed and defeated before I got up. I am not a negative person normally but today I wanted to be.

Some things that made me feel defeated today............................
I just had a baby 2 1/2 weeks ago and I have nothing to wear.
I did not get a shower yesterday.
Logan wanted mommy but I was feeding the baby again.
The dishes were not done from the night before.
The laundry had not been changed over from the night before.
I have not had a normal conversation with my husband since we got home from the hospital.
Lucas is waking up every 2 hours to breastfeed at night.
My maternity leave is going by so fast.
I have not returned phone calls or emails yet.
I have no energy............. AND I am sure the list could go on and on....

So today I had myself not 1 but 2 good cries. Did it make me feel better? I am not sure but I like to think so.

Lucas is one week old today. Although I am sleep deprived and still adjusting to being a mother of two boys. I think the first week went really well. Logan is still adjusting to sharing mommy and daddy. I have enjoyed my time at home with the boys. I love waking up to them, feeding them, playing with them and being here for them. I am still trying to find a schedule that works for both boys but that will come in due time. I never thought that Logan was react the way he has to the new baby but we are working on it. Jason and I are so blessed to have two healthy boys.

I still can't believe that I am a mother of two beautiful boys! Logan is still adjusting and we are so excited that Lucas is here.

It was about 6:00 pm Monday night and I was watching TV with the family. I thought ouch then another ouch. Really I didn't think much of it but then I was like oh man. My contractions started they were 8-10 minutes apart. I sat there breathing and thought maybe it is time. I had Jason start to gather things and get Logan's stuff together. I waited until they were 6-8 minutes apart and called my dad to tell him we were bringing Logan over. I wanted to jump in the bath and shave my legs. I know I am weird about things like that but I knew I had time. My dads house is about 10 minutes from the hospital and I felt better being close. We arrived at his house about 8:30 pm and I decided to wait till the contractions were closer together. I wanted to stay under control and focused. I did not want to scare Logan or make him think that mommy was in pain. At about 10:00 pm the contractions were about 5 minutes apart and a lot harder. I told Jason that we probably needed to head that way. I wanted to put Logan in his pj's and tuck him in for the night. Of course he was excited to sleep over at PAPA's house. He understood where we were going and what was happening. I didn't want him to feel like we just left him. I told him that he would meet bubba in the morning if he decides to come tonight. Jason and I left for the hospital at 10:30 pm. I texted my best friend to let her know we were on the way to the hospital. We got to the ER and had to fill out paperwork . Do they really think that someone in labor is in her right mind to read and sign paperwork. Finally she said you can go up to labor and delivery!

Jason and I got on the elevator and I said I hope this is it. We checked in at the window with a cold nurse that was not friendly. They showed us to our room and asked a million questions. I got hooked up to the monitors and checked. I was still dilated to a 2.5 but I was 75%. At least I had some change for all that work. The contractions continued 3-5 minutes apart. The nurse that was not so friendly continued to be not so friendly. Come on if you are going to be a nurse on an OB floor at least like your job. No one came back to check on us until what seemed like forever. The floor was not busy and the other nurse that asked the questions stated this to me. She said it has been a slow night. I was hoping for warm smiles and great care. In return I got less then great care and a nurse that was less then friendly. She came back in at about 2:15 pm to check me. She said oh guess you are still having contractions but you don't seem in labor. Really did you just say I am not in labor because it sure felt like it to me. Honestly don't tell a pregnant lady it is not labor because they are called labor pains for a reason. Then I heard the words that I didn't want to hear you are still a 2.5 and I will call the Doctor. A different nurse came back in and said you will need to get dressed and see the nurse at the window. Hello you could explain to me why you are sending me home with contractions 3-5 minutes apart. I wanted to burst into tears. I know this is my second child and I should feel prepared but I was not. I looked at Jason and he could tell I was not happy. As we walked out of the hospital I was nervous. The contractions continued on the way home but did not get worse. We arrived back home at 3:00 am. I laid awake in bed still having contractions. They finally stooped at about 4:30 am. What a long night to come home empty handed. To be continued.........

I have dreamed about being a SAHM but for our family it just isn't an option. My husband does not have health insurance or benefits through his work. Yes I am telling you that I work so that my family can have healthcare and other things in life. I have had many people ask me why I don't want to stay home with my children. It isn't that I don't dream of it or long for the day that I would be able to be the only one care for my children. I hate when people judge me without even knowing the situation. Yes I would prefer to care for my children during the day. No I am not a bad mother for working and sending my children to daycare. Logan has everything that he needs or wants. Jason and I are home every evening for dinner, bath time and bed time. We make a point to put our family first even if we both work full time. Just because I work does not mean I am not involved or don't not care. I am a mother just like any other mother out there. I do not think that it matters if I work or stay at home. I am still going to be the best wife and mother that I can be for my family.

I have been struggling with my feeling about Logan no longer being the only child. I know that sounds so bad but that is how I feel. I feel guilty that he won't have mommy and daddy to himself. That he will have to share his room and toys. That he might not adjust well to the changes. I know that I am not an only child and I survived. I have cried two times this week about it. My friends keep telling me that he will be fine and that he will adjust. I don't think that is the issue for me. I think the issue is that I just feel guilt. It isn't like he got to make this decision or have a say. Jason and I considered his feelings but I guess I didn't realize how much he would impacted before the baby. I have already seen a change in my little boy and to tell the the truth that bothers me. This might just be something I have to deal with on my own time. Maybe some of it the fact that he is my baby in my mind. Yes I know that he is 3 1/2 but I still think of him as my baby. I still hold him when he crys or gets hurt. I still baby him some days for no reason other than I want to. My husband tells me I need to let him grow up before the baby is born. So today I am emotionally struggling with the thought of being a family of 4 by the 10Th.

I just got back from the Doctor! I am a 2-2/12 and 60% so I had great progress in a week. She will schedule to induce the week of the 7th if he is not here. I didn't gain any weight this week which surprised me!

I had my 36 week appointment yesterday. Everything is great and I didn't look at the scale SORRY! I am dilated to a 1 and thinning. I will be going every week until the baby comes. WISH ME LUCK!

I have been trying to hand off things at work because I plan to take 9 weeks off. I never realized how hard it is explain something simple to someone that has never done it before. I am worried about leaving my job but I know I need to put my family first.

I need your Help!! Any good ideas for quick meals I can try. We are getting burnt out eating the same recipe's over and over again. If you have something that is quick and easy send it to me. I usually have about an hour for prep and cook!

I finally decided that it was time to pack the bag for the hospital and the diaper bag Friday night. It was stressful trying to figure out what to take without over packing. I need to get the car seat down and adjust strapes this week. My doctor appointments are weekly until the birth. I have almost organized all the baby items and washed them. I am starting to feel like I have things under control. Jason got the last tote down out of storage for me Saturday. I need to wash bottles and blankets this week and I will be done.

I got an unexpected surprise baby shower at work last week. Everyone was so nice to have thought about me and the baby. The gifts were much needed items that I will use. My coworkers are like a second family to me. Everyone has been so caring and nice through my pregnancy. I turned in my last day to be September 4th. I might work a week longer but I needed to prepare paperwork before I leave. I will allow the Doctor to induce if I am favorable which would give me 4 or 5 days at home before the baby arrives. I am going to use this time for some much needed one on one with Logan.

We had maternity shots done last week. I can't wait to see the proofs. Kelly was so patient with Logan. He is not adjusting to things being about baby and mommy. When we got home he said "Momma please don't have this baby". I breaks my heart to hear those words come out of his mouth but I know it is natural. Once he holds his brother everything will be better. He has waited a long time to meet this baby that he loves so much.

I hope to post some blogs that I have started but not had the time to finish........

I have been trying to prepare our family for the upcoming changes. Although I do not feel I have accomplished everything I wanted to before the baby arrives "I have at least tried". This weekend I finally asked Jason for help. It is not like me to ask for help when I need it. I usually just stress and deal with it on my own. Jason works so hard to provide for our family through the week and on the weekends. I have always taken care of the shopping, cleaning, laundry and paying the bills. I want him to be able to come home and relax. I like for him to come home and only have to worry about spending time and playing with Logan. I have realized that being 8 month pregnant and having a 3 1/2 year old does not allow me to push myself like I have in the past. So this weekend Jason helped me organize the rest of the baby items, vaccum the entire house, go through ALL of Logan's toys and we also managed some family time Saturday evening. It was nice to have the help but I also felt like I had let him down. I know he doesn't feel this way but I am hard on myself when it comes to this area in our marriage.

Only 5 1/2 more weeks and we will be a family of four. I can tell you that this scares me and excites me all at the same time! More updates to come soon...... For now I am going to go nap while the boys are gone.

Last night I kissed my son and said Goodnight BABY! Mommy loves you........

He looked right into my eyes and said Mommy I a big boy now! I can't be your baby because you have one in your tummy. I need you to call me a big boy PLEASE......

TEAR

My son is no longer a baby!

Lately I have been struggling with life. With that said I am very thankful for everything that I have and would not want it any other way. Although this doesn't mean that I can't have those days that I just want to say "Life Isn't Fair".

My first pregnancy was great. Everything was normal and I had no worries. I am very thankful for this now that I have experienced a not so normal one. Yesterday I had my 32 week appointment. I was concerned with the lack of movement of the baby the night before and that morning. When I mentioned this to the doctor she said lets go put you on the monitor. I sat there in the silent room listening to the baby's heartbeat. I watched the numbers go up and down. Still no movement when the doctor came back. She said lets get you a cold drink of water and see if we can't wake him up. So I drink the water and then he moves a little but nothing like normal for him. Ever since the placenta previa and failing my gluclose test I pray for a healthy baby. Although when things like this happen you can't help but worry. I just pray that he is healthy and that I am doing everything I need to be doing for him.

Another hurdle that I am trying to deal with right now is the question:

Do I want to tie my tubes?

I have many mixed feeling about this subject. I am only 26 and I am not sure I am ready to take that step in my life. When my husband and I discussed children we always said we would have no more then two. Now that the second one is almost here I am not sure that I don't want more. Jason could have stopped with one child to tell you the truth. He is more then content with having just Logan. I wanted a little girl so bad. I have dreamed of a mother daughter relationship but is that a reason not to tie my tubes. God is blessing me with another child shouldn't that be enough. I know it is selfish for me to want a girl because the next one very well could be another boy. Is this a reason not to tie my tubes. I am just scared to close that chapter in my life. How do I determine what is fear and what is reality for me. The last time that Jason and I tried to have this discussion about this I ended up in tears. Not because he hurt my feeling just because I felt more confused then ever. I keep looking for answers and I seem to be more confused then ever. I want to respect my husband but can I really tie my tubes. He has made it clear that he does not want more children. To tell you the truth I am not sure that I will ever be ready to tie my tubes. Something about not having the option scares me or maybe it is just a control thing. Who knows but I do know that at this time I just am not sure. I feel like I am letting my husband down because we have always been open about this subject and I have always been ok with just having two children. We built a home with 3 bedrooms knowing that we were only going to have two children. Now that the time has came it just doesn't feel right. Jason and I want to provide for our children. We want them to have things we didn't have growing up. I am hoping that in the next 8 weeks I can come to a decision.

I realized today that it has been 4 weeks since I blogged last. I just wanted to give you a quick update why I have not been writing...........

Jason's grandmother passed away.
Fiscal Year End at work.
My grandmother passed away.
I failed my glucose test.
Took a 4 hour glucose test this week.
I have been going through all of Logan's baby stuff for new BABY Nothnagel.
Searching online for a baby name that Jason and I both like.
Reorganizing Logan's closet to fit 2 children.
Trying to SLEEP.... Not sure I have been successful with this but I have tried.
Feeling baby feet in my ribs again is bitter sweet.
Visiting my friend's in the hospital that have welcomed new babies.
Struggling with Logan's misbehavior that is very uncommon for him.
Struggling with the decision whether to tie my tubes or not.

Updates to come soon...... It is late and I am off to bed!

I had another Doctor appointment today. I have gained 9.5 lbs so fare which is not bad considering what I gained with my first pregnancy. The baby's heartbeat was strong and he is very active these days. I go for lab work in 2 weeks and back to the doctor in 4 weeks. This will be my last 4 week appointment. I will be going every 2 weeks after my 30 week appointment. I feel like the time has flown by this time. I blinked and I only have 14 weeks left. I am no where prepared mentally or physically for this baby. I kept most of Logan's things in storage with the idea that if we had more I would use it again. I have been buying diapers and wipes for months. Little by little I am making it through all the clothes from Logan. I feel like this time I just don't need as much. I know that sounds weird but I tell my self oh you can make do. Figuring out a room setup for 2 is my biggest challenge for the near future. I wish that our upstairs was finished but it is not yet. Logan will be fine sharing a room with the baby I know this but I still hate that he has to give up his space.

More updates to come!

Check out this site if your food budget is tight and you still want to cook a good meal. I have used several meals from it already. Gives new ideas for a mom that is tired of cooking the same thing over and over. ENJOY!!

http://www.5dollardinners.com/

Jason's grandmother passed away today. She was his last living grandparent and he was very close to her. I never have the right words to say when my husband is going through tough times. He is always my rock! All I can do it love him and support him.

I haven't had much time to blog lately. Seems like there is always something else that needs to be done. Updates and what I have been up to in the last 2 weeks.............

Had another ultrasound placenta has moved but not where it needs to be yet.

Scheduled checkup June 9

Got family pictures and Logan's 3 year shot done. (Will post them later this week)

Cleaned House

I have been working on year end reports and budgets at work.

Went to Montgomery city to watch a Mud Run.

Attended a birthday party at Lions club park

Sorted through baby clothes 0-3 months still so much to go....

Played in the water with Logan instead of cooking dinner.

Baked Muffins and Bread last weekend

Spent the holiday with my dad visiting

I have been caring for 6 puppies

Husband has been working late hours which means single parenting for me.


I am sure I have missed somethings but you get the idea. I hope everyone is enjoying the warm weather.

Today I woke up excited about what the day would bring. Logan was going to work with daddy for the day. I was only going to work until 1:30 pm because we had family pictures scheduled. I took off early to make sure that everyone was showered and clothes were ironed. A friend of mine from high school was going to meet us at the park for Logan's 3 year pictures and family pictures. I have only kept up with her from facebook or running into her in town. When we got there she had the same wonderful smile that I remember. One of those smiles that makes your day better. Logan was a little shy but he warmed up quickly. She was very patient with him and since I was unsure how the afternoon would go that was reassuring to me. He was quit the little ham! I was so proud of my little boy. He listened to her and did what she asked with little fight. We ended the evening with taking Logan to the park to ride his new bike. I loved watching him ride like a big boy . Where has the time gone? It feels like yesterday that we were bringing him home from the hospital. Only a couple more months and we will be a family of 4.

I can't wait to see the pictures!

I had another doctor's appointment Tuesday and no change. My placenta is still in the same place and I am still in the same pain. I gained 3 lbs which is not bad at all considering I have only gained 1.5 lb in 20 weeks. I go back in 2 weeks for an ultrasound and I pray that it has moved. Dr. C said because the placenta is on my cervix my pelvic bones are spreading early and that is why I am in so much pain. I keep telling myself everything is fine but the more time that passes I worry! This week Jason felt the baby move for the first time. It is exciting to watch his face and Logan's when they feel him kick. Seems like this baby is a nighttime baby like Logan was. Only really active at night.

I brought home a list of names only for my husband to say NO!!! Still searching for that perfect fit...........

Have you ever had one of those weeks that you just want to start over. I knew Monday morning when I got out of bed that it would be a bad day but I was hopeful that the week would turn out better. Well here it is Thursday and still no end in sight. I think some of it might be that I am hormonal, worried about my placenta and the baby but really I think something has to give.

This week I took Logan for a echo because Dr. Sean still can hear a heart murmur and thought it best to check things out. Well that was two days ago and still no phone call. When it comes to my son I really don't deal with things well. I want him to be happy and healthy. When I scheduled his 3 year check up I did not think I would be walking out with a list of things to follow up. Really can one child get 2 referrals, an echo and a wart removed all in one visit. SIGH!!!! Maybe I just need to take a deep breath and find my happy place.

I am now 21 weeks along and starting to get the wow you look bigger comment. Just gotta love those people that make a pregnant one feel fat. I go back to the Doctor Tuesday to see if anything has changed and then again in 2 weeks. I am having a lot of pain and pressure but the nurse assures me that everything is normal.

For now I am going to finish my lunch.......

This afternoon I was in the copy room at work. I usually take my phone with me but did not today. I got back to my desk to only see 2 missed calls from the Doctors office on my cell and one on my office phone. I never like to see St. John's Clinic on my called ID because they don't call unless something is wrong. So I called the nurse back and she said Christina I got your ultrasound report today I felt my stomach drop at this point. She said you have placenta previa and we will need to see you back in the office. My brain starts to race and I really was numb. It is hard to listen when you don't know what something is or what it might cause. So I receive a long list of things to avoid or watch for in the next 2 weeks. I go back to see the Doctor and I will receive a follow up ultrasound. Sometimes I wish that I didn't know how to google things! I called my mom because she is a pediatric RN and will tell me the truth. Please keep me and my little boy in your thoughts and prayers. I hope that the next appointment will show that it has moved and everything is fine.

IT"S A BOY!!!! I will post more information and pictures later.

I read a friend's blog and got inspired to make a list of wants: HERE GOES!!!



I am dreaming of a Pedicure

I would like to get my haircut

I would like to get my hair colored

Bigger maternity clothes

Someone to figure the nursery layout with two kids SIGH (Why can't the upstairs be done?)

To find out the sex of baby #2 (One more day)

Landscaping done in my front yard

Logan needs a swing set

A family vacation (We are skipping a family vacation this year because of the baby)

I wish my husband had a job with benefits that would allow me to explore staying home

Family pictures

A MAID to clean my house ha ha





Of course some of these things will never happen but it doesn't hurt to dream or want! I guess it is fun to make list or at best to remind me later of what is important.



WISH ME LUCK TOMORROW WE FIND OUT THE SEX OF THE BABY!


Stay tuned.........

I forgot what it felt like to have a baby moving inside of me. About a week ago I was like WOW that was the baby. Then this week the baby has been extra active in the evening. Sometimes I will feel the baby move 4 or 5 times. On the 28th we will find out the sex of the baby. I am super excited but scared at the same time. It is crazy to think that I will be almost 20 week soon. That means that I am halfway to my due date. I sit here and think to myself "How did 20 weeks pass by?". Then the anxiety sets in for me. I start things about everything I need to do before the baby gets here. I have been waiting to find out the sex before I unpack anything. If it is a girl then I will sell all of my boy stuff and buy girl. I have been waiting to find out the sex before I redo Logan's room. Everything has been waiting on next week to get here.



I am really starting to show and that is exciting for me. I don't know what it is about being pregnant but I enjoy watching my belly grow. I love to see Logan talk to my belly and kiss my belly. He is going to be such a great big brother.

Not only has my body told me to slow down but so has the doctor! So tonight before I am completely exhausted. I accomplished the following things loaded dishwasher, started a load of laundry and made dinner. Those three task exhausted me more then ever normally I would still be cleaning and up until 10:30 working. I just can't do what I use to do before I got pregnant. This pregnancy seems to be more exhausting then my first. Although take into account that I have a 3 year old and a more demanding job. So for now I need to prioritize what has to be done with what needs to be done.

So until I have this baby I may not have a clean house, all the laundry may not be done, there might be dishes in my sink and I might not see 9:00 pm again. I am OK with it as long as the baby is healthy and well. I need to focus on taking care of me and the baby.

Since my husband and I have decided to take this leap of faith. I have been on a mission to save money. Now with that said I have have already cut back everything in the house including phone and dish. So I begin to read money saving mom's websites. I found an entire world out there that I did not know about or really was not interested in the past. I have joined the world of coupon's. Yes I said it I am clipping, printing, loading my Kroger card with savings and shopping the local ads. My goal is to cut our grocery bill in half. I had already been shopping at Aldi's and saving money but that is not enough. This morning I got out of bed and made my grocery list. I followed all the suggestion and decided to shop at Krogers. I know some of you are thinking really???? They are having 10 for 10 dollars sale and there were several items on sale that I had coupons for this week. They also double coupons 50 cents or less this week. I was amazed at the savings.

Grocery Items:
Bread
Hamburger buns
Sandwich meat
Polish sausage-2
Mild sausage
Canned fruit-2
Mac and Cheese
Spaghetti sauce
Pickles
Pork and Beans-2
Frozen Pizza-4
Garlic Bread
Milk
Butter
Grapes
Hamburger
Chicken
Pull Ups
Frozen Vegetables-2
Hot dogs
Chips

Total before Kroger Plus Card and Coupons: $80.46

Savings: $27.98
Paid $52.48

I can't wait for Walgreen's to open in town. Almost every site I have visited Walgreen's is listed for savings. I will continue to post more information as I learn more about buying more for less. If anyone has any suggestion I am open to anything.

About a week ago my husband came to me and said he wanted to quit his job. He explained to me that an opportunity has came along that he can not pass up. I put my brakes on right away because I do not like change. He has worked for this company almost 7 years. This is my comfort zone and I would rather stay there. Although I realize that I need to support him through this change he has been the one steady in my life for the past 8 years. He is the one that doesn't change but supports me through my changes. I guess the table is turned and I need to be his rock. He has supported me through high school, college, new jobs, life changes, marriage, pregnancy and most of all he excepts me for me.



So I have to admit that I am scared for many reasons.


Our truck is not paid off until August 2010.

We have a baby due in September.

Our personal property taxes raised our mortgage $137.00 a month this year.

Our grocery budget has increased $50.00 a month.

Due to the University budget cuts I will not receive a raise this year.

I could go on all night if you ask me to!



We will be married 6 years this June. I fall more in love with this man every day. We have one beautiful son together and the second baby on the way. He has blessed me with so many opportunities and now it is his turn. We will face things together as they come and our love will carry us through.

I know it has been forever since I have blogged! Sometimes I wonder how I find time for a shower. I have been so tired and sick that I really do not feel up to much after I get home. I had a doctor's appointment today. Since Dr. S dropped all her OB patients I switch back to the doctor I used with Logan Dr. C. I felt good about the appointment today. I got the hear the babies heartbeat and have the doctor tell me "You have entered your 2ND trimester". Seems like this pregnancy has gone by so fast. In 6 weeks will be find out what we are having and be at the half way mark. Since this might be my last baby I want to slow down and enjoy every minute. I would love to have a large family but this might not happen for us.

Thoughts:

Logan turns 3 on March 20
Planning a banquet for 300 people at work
Finishing midyear reports
Submitting budget for FY2010
Spring Cleaning
Packing away my regular clothes for maternity
My husband is in need of a home cooked meal
Logan needs summer clothes
I need flats for work
Why can't I wear my wedding ring already
The baby likes cheese puffs and ice cream
I have only gained 2 lbs in 14 weeks
I love American Idol
Grey's Anatomy is one of my favorite
I dread being pregnant through the summer
I hope this baby is a girl but I would be ok with a boy
Logan is POTTY trained
I love my husband more today then the day we got married
Being a mother is the most rewarding job I could ever have
I need to go give Logan a BATH!
I love reading friends from high schools blogs
I would love to be a SAHM but the economy won't allow it

Still trying to do meal plan Sundays but I haven't had much luck. I need simple ideas for DINNER HELP!

I called the doctor this afternoon with a scare! I started to cramp three days ago I really just thought it was me over doing it. Today I started to bleed and that scared me deeply. I called the nurse and she immediately booked an ultrasound. I went to the imagining center at 3:00 pm today. I waited for what seemed like forever and finally they called my name. The tech was the same lady that told me Logan was a boy. She proceeded to preform the ultrasound and found the baby, heartbeat was good and the baby was very active this afternoon. I have a cyst on my left ovary that may be causing the bleeding and pain. I was never so happy to see the little bean sized baby on the screen. I was worried that they wouldn't be able to find the baby or that something would be wrong. Since this pregnancy was a surprise it took me a couple weeks to get excited. I was in shock that I was going to have a little one in 9 months. For those of you that have had a child you know the emotions that over come you after taking a home test.

Today I am thankful that everything is ok and that the baby is healthy! Amazing how something the size of a bean can change my life so much. I am truly blessed to have this little baby growing inside of me.

I will update you after Monday's appointment.

Who knew that something the size of a jellybean could cause me to puke my brains out. I wake up sick, take a shower sick, drive to work sick, come home sick and go to bed sick. I had morning sickness with my first pregnancy but nothing like this. I can eat something and it will taste so good but the baby doesn't like it. I hope that this will only last the first trimester. It is 7:46 pm and I think I will call it a night.

Things I did not accomplished tonight but my wonderful husband has been picking up the slack:
Dinner (Thanks for corn dogs and french fries my husband and son ate)
Dishes
Laundry (Good thing we have enough to last the week)
Cleaning (Guess this will wait until the weekend)
Bedtime Story
Bath Time (Daddy will give him one before bed)

I have not put this on facebook yet because then the entire world will know before I get to tell some close friends. We are pregnant with baby #2 due on September 17, 2009. I have so many emotions running through my head. I have not been blogging because I have had the life sucked out of me. I am usually in bed by 7:30 pm or 8:00 pm and still feel tired the next day. I don't remember being this tired with Logan but maybe that is because I didn't have an almost 3 year needing me.

So if I don't write it is because I am catching up on some much needed sleep time!

Sometimes I have so much to say but can't get the words out. I sit here with so many thoughts in my head but not sure what to write. Have you ever felt like the walls are closing in on you but yet it is OK. It is almost the weekend and I have survived this week. That is about all I can say at this point.

Goodnight!

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... enough money within her control to move outand rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…a youth she's content to leave behind.... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE... a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE... one friend who always makes her laugh.. and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE... a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE... eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…a feeling of control over her destiny..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... how to fall in love without losing herself…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... how to quit a job, break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.... how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW… whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table.. or a charming Inn in the woods.... when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW… What she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month...and a year...

Do you ever find yourself cooking the same meals over and over again for your family? I have been reading several blogs where people make weekly meal calendar's. I just can't seem to find the time to do this yet. I would rather have a pantry full of food and a freeze full of meat to cook whatever I want. Unfortunately with the economy the way it is a $300.00 trip to Wal-mart is not in our budget. Wasting food is something I try to avoid these days. I try to cook just enough and have a little left over for my lunch the next day. Today I cleaned out my pantry and made a shopping list for this week. On this list you will find the staples that I keep in my household. I tried to make a weekly meal list. I tried hard but instead it made me hungry. Maybe this will take getting use to but it is a start. I have been trimming off a little each week from our grocery budget. I try hard not to make more then one trip a week to the store. I shop at Aldi's for everything that I can and then the dreaded trip to wal-mart next. Every week I look at the ads online to see what deals I can find. Yes I will go to three different stores to save money because they are all with 5 miles of each other. I think I might be more frugal then my family was growing up.



So tell me your deepest darkest money saving secrets!

Have you ever thought about what you wanted to be when you grow up? Sometimes I wonder if I still can think this about myself. Yes I have a job but is it the job I want. I went to college got my degree in the profession I thought I wanted to work in. Don't get me wrong I have a great job with wonderful benefits and a great boss. I find myself changing my goals in life, my wants, my desires and much more. What I wanted at 18 is not what I want today. I often wonder what it would be like to stay at home with my children. Maybe I want to be a elementary teacher or a nurse. I find myself being more curious then ever and that makes me think about life alot. I look at people around me and think is this what they wanted out of life. Don't get me wrong I know that one can not always have what they want. Sometimes I question my happiness with myself. I think I am my hardest critic when it comes to my self worth. Maybe this is steamed from my childhood or maybe I have low self esteem.



I am happy with the way my life has turned out. I married a man that loves me for who I am. He is a wonderful father and provider. I was blessed with a son. Being a mother is the most rewarding job of all. This is why I question staying at home. Maybe I was meant to be a stay at home mom but I didn't play my cards right. How do you know when the time is right? How do you sacrifice this for your family to be selfish. Lets face it with this day and age staying home is not easy. A household almost needs 2 incomes to exist. I guess I just want to know that there isn't something else out there that I was destined to do. I love my job as a administrative assistant. I find it rewarding and I am good at it. Just don't know if it is what I want to do for the next 25 years. I have to trust in GOD that he will lead my family in the right direction.

Life doesn't stop for one to get well! I have found this out over the last couple months. I have been struggling with health issues along with others over the last couple of months. It all started about the first of November and has spiraled out of control since then. I have bounced between family doctor, ENT specialist, out patient surgery and then back to the dentist. I find it hard to believe that I have had over 12 appointments in the last 2 months. Until now I have been blessed with great health. Only going to the doctor for my yearly check up or the common cold. It is my hopes that this last appointment has fixed the problems. I had labs ran last week and still show an infection. My hope is that with the proper medication I can over come this and get back to normal.

Well I should probably be off to bed and get some much needed rest! I will update you more later......