My So Called Life

Have you ever thought about what you wanted to be when you grow up? Sometimes I wonder if I still can think this about myself. Yes I have a job but is it the job I want. I went to college got my degree in the profession I thought I wanted to work in. Don't get me wrong I have a great job with wonderful benefits and a great boss. I find myself changing my goals in life, my wants, my desires and much more. What I wanted at 18 is not what I want today. I often wonder what it would be like to stay at home with my children. Maybe I want to be a elementary teacher or a nurse. I find myself being more curious then ever and that makes me think about life alot. I look at people around me and think is this what they wanted out of life. Don't get me wrong I know that one can not always have what they want. Sometimes I question my happiness with myself. I think I am my hardest critic when it comes to my self worth. Maybe this is steamed from my childhood or maybe I have low self esteem.



I am happy with the way my life has turned out. I married a man that loves me for who I am. He is a wonderful father and provider. I was blessed with a son. Being a mother is the most rewarding job of all. This is why I question staying at home. Maybe I was meant to be a stay at home mom but I didn't play my cards right. How do you know when the time is right? How do you sacrifice this for your family to be selfish. Lets face it with this day and age staying home is not easy. A household almost needs 2 incomes to exist. I guess I just want to know that there isn't something else out there that I was destined to do. I love my job as a administrative assistant. I find it rewarding and I am good at it. Just don't know if it is what I want to do for the next 25 years. I have to trust in GOD that he will lead my family in the right direction.