The unknown??
Jason and I have talked a lot about if this will be our last baby. Yes I know we don't need to decide right now but it is something we do need to plan for one way or another. I know that when I was pregnant with Lucas I just could not tie my tubes. I just had this feeling that it was not the right time or place in my life. I have all these unanswered questions as to why or why not running around in my head. How does one really know when it is time to close that door? I keep praying about it and looking for direction. There are days were two kids are more than I can handle but then there are days I just can't wait to be pregnant again. I feel truly blessed to have two healthy boys. I just can't get the what ifs out of my head. I have always dreamed of a mother daughter relationship. I just want to know if it will ever feel right to close that chapter. I have totes of maternity clothes that I can not seem to part with yet. I have a tote of 0-3 month baby clothes that I need to take the resale shop but just can't bring myself to get rid of the memories. Both boys have worn these clothes as infants and they have special meaning to me. Why is it so hard for me to see them grow??
Any advise or words or wisdom? I could really use some right now.
Any advise or words or wisdom? I could really use some right now.
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I've read this post and others like it on your blog, and it is clear to me that you are not ready to make a "permanent" decision right now. I don't know what to tell you as to how to know when you're done because that issue is something I actually struggle with, too. Mostly because I feel like we're telling God we know what's best instead of letting Him bless us with as many as He sees fit. I'm not saying I want to be the Duggars or anything! ;o) But our society has become one who sees children as a burden rather than a blessing, so when I had one boy and one girl, people thought "Oh, now you have the perfect family." Why? What does that mean? Who said one of each is perfect?
Anyway, I could ramble on...so I'll stop. The bottom line is, it's ok to feel the way you're feeling. Don't think you have to decide right this minute. But...to me it sounds like another one might be in your future! :o)
And the transition to three is nothing compared to the transition to two!
I agree with Chrissy - if you still want to be pregnant and want another baby and have feelings at all like this - then you are not done.
For us -
we weren't sure going in how many we would have.
There was no pressure as far as boy/girl because I didn't care. I REALLY wanted Ryan to be a boy but after that it wasn't an issue.
We talked 2 - 3 - ????
They told us no more after Ryan - and I kept hoping and wishing and thinking about it.....
and so when we had Owen we were SO happy and while I was pregnant all the complications and worry, etc. They told us would get worse with each pregnancy after that. They also said we were very fortunate to have him born as healthy as he was.
After spending a month in the NICU and having the pregnancy I did and the risks it would run for me to have another one.....although God is in charge, we just felt like it was a risk that was just too risky.
I felt like the children I had needed a mother more then we needed more children.
But looking at it now - I just feel like we made the right decision. And I think you too, will just know. When I look at our family I feel blessed and grateful to have the two boys that we have. I feel excited to watch them grow...... and I have no "newborn/ pregnancy envy" I am ready to get rid of the crib and the baby clothes and move on.
I don't know - maybe everyone is different! But to us - we just knew.......
Christina - My mother and most all of my family, Corey's side and mine, all make the most AWFUL face when Corey and I talk about wanting more kids. Truthfully it hurts my feelings so very badly. I agree with Chrissy that people see children as a burden as opposed to a blessing. Corey and I want more children... at least one more but we have always talked about wanting 4. My mother in law has told me a couple times that looking back she wishes that they would have had more. I do not want to be that person... I have a couple aunts with 2 kids and everytime they see a baby they tell me they want another one (yes even right now with their youngest almost graduated from high school)... I don't want to be doing that either! I think you should just give yourself AND Jason time, I wouldn't make any permanent decisions right now.
We are both healthy girls and I see more babies in our futures ;) I need that boy and you need that girl :) Hang in there!
And Tina - I am SO VERY THANKFUL that you are happy with your family :) It would KILL me to be pregnant again someday and know that you wanted to be having another baby too!
It is just something on my mind lately. I acutally got a 3 year implant called implanon(SP?) so we have time. Just hard to know what to keep and what not to store. I really am on the fence not sure either way just nice to get my feels out every now and then. I believe that God has the final say and we will give it time. Jason supported me not tieing my tubes but said he only wanted two. Time will only tell what is instore for us. I also beleive that some people find children a burden instead of being completed blessed to have them in their life. My entire life is my husband and children. I don't know what I woudl do without them. People often ask why we don't get a sitter but honestly I would rather have them with me all the time.
Thanks everyone for your kinds words and thoughts. It is nice to have this outlet to express my feelings.
Sugar,
Don't decide yet. Give yourself time. Save the stuff and just sit in the treading water position for now. I know for me I should never have made the decision at such an early age way back when. I have always regretted it. Life is too short to have regrets so just live life, enjoy your kids, and wait and see.
Love you
L